Loving Others
I grew up with the misconception that
loving others meant I had to be nice to them. I didn't
always want to be nice. What I wanted was to be honest
and when I was honest I was judged as being unkind.
It took years for me to realise that by being honest
I was actually giving love. I don't mean that I walk
up to a guy with a big nose and say, "Hey, man,
you've got a big nose!" That is defined as being
unkind. I mean telling a person the truth when it
would be easier to disguise the truth is to be loving.
For example I'll offer the scenario of a man doing
a job where he is obviously out of his depth and/or
unhappy, it is more loving to tell him he needs to
find another job than to watch him lose more and more
confidence and become increasingly unhappy. When we
see that the individual we are observing is not aspiring
to their potential, they are withering away and their
light is going out. To offer love is to help re-ignite
their light by giving them a push away so they can
find the place they are meant to be. Being loving
today is too often misunderstood as imposing our values
upon another believing that to be an act of kindness.
Life is about the experience and the experience of
life is different for every one of us. Only when we
can embrace our differences can we truly move forward
as mankind. Being loving is often pushing someone
away. Offering someone the confidence to stand alone
and be different is one of the most loving acts we
can do. When people are where they are meant to be
is where they shine.
An aspect of the human condition is
a resistance of change. We instinctively try to create
an environment that is permanent. We cherish tradition
and tradition is anchored in the bedrock of the past.
Yet life needs change. Life cannot exist without constant
movement and movement means change. When we see an
individual clinging to the past it means they are
unable to aspire to their potential. We have all done
it. The reason is fear of letting go. In my opinion
it is loving to be honest and tell the individual
they must let go and embrace the change that is happening
to them. For me, honesty and sincerity are the keywords
to love.
Changing perspective will change your
mind.
Tim Rees
tim@lifeisart.co.uk
